Hi, I am an emotional overeater.
When I’m happy, I eat. When I’m sad, I eat. When I’m bored, I eat. Even when I’m not hungry, I eat. Honestly, I just love eating.
One of my favorite ways to relax is to lie in bed at night, put on a show I don’t really have to pay attention to, scroll on my phone, and snack. I grab an array of snacks—chips (Pringles!), popcorn, pretzels, pistachios, and peanuts (funny how they all start with P…)—and mindlessly eat as I “relax.”
It’s a terrible habit, I know. But I convince myself that I deserve it, that it’s the ultimate way to unwind.
But Is It Really Relaxation?
When I take a step back and think about why I love eating in bed at night, I realize it’s because my body is tired. I eat because food gives me energy. At the end of the day, if I’m not ready to go to bed, I use food to power through my “relaxation.”
Logically, I know I should just go to bed. But this habit is more than that—it’s emotional.
Where It All Began
If I think back to when this habit started, it was fueled by emotions.
At 19, I married my high school sweetheart. By 22, we divorced. He was a highly controlling spouse. When we met at 16, I was thin, but as I got older, my curves started to develop. While I was still very slender, gaining an hourglass figure made him uncomfortable. He started “encouraging” (to put it nicely) me to limit my food intake and exercise more.
I began sneaking food because I was so hungry.
When we divorced, even though I wanted it, the emotional toll hit me hard. He somehow convinced all my friends that I was the bad person in the relationship. Everything I did seemed to confirm his narrative, and suddenly, I was alone—friendless and isolated.
Because my eating had been so controlled before, I now found myself overcompensating. I started eating more, exercising less, and drowning in the pain of losing the support system I once had.
The Weight of Emotional Eating
Within a few months, I gained 25 pounds.
I remember visiting my mom, who had just put up a small pool. When I walked outside in a bikini to jump in, I saw her wince. And honestly, I winced too whenever I looked in the mirror. I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I was an emotional mess, eating my feelings, and feeling lost.
The Journey Back
It took me 10 years to figure out how to get to a healthier place. But before I got there, I made a lot of mistakes: beating myself up, cutting back on food in unhealthy ways, doing the wrong exercises, and cycling through guilt and frustration. None of it worked.
What did work?
- Eating the right foods most of the time. I didn’t have to be perfect, just consistent.
- Mixing up my workouts. I stopped focusing solely on cardio and incorporated strength training and variety.
- Creating a healthier environment. I looked around and made changes to support my goals.
- Focusing on my mindset. This was the most important piece. Once I worked on how I thought about myself and my habits, the weight I had gained over the years (50 pounds!) started to come off.
Why I Became a Health Coach
This journey is why I became a health coach.
I don’t want anyone to suffer for 10 years like I did. Going through cycles of losing and gaining weight takes a huge toll on your body, mind, and self-esteem. Your perception of yourself—and how you think others perceive you—becomes warped.
It’s all a mind game.
When you get your mindset right, you’ll start to struggle less. And yes, the weight will come off. Believe in yourself. And if you’re having trouble, get a health coach. Believe me, it’s so much easier with guidance and support.
