I’ve spent a few holidays alone. It’s just the way it goes when you don’t have family living close by and all your friends have their own family gatherings. Being more of a serial monogamist, I haven’t had many holidays alone, but this year is different. After ending a decade-long relationship, I decided to take time to focus on myself instead of jumping into something new. And that means I’m spending this holiday season solo.
Awkwardly Spending the Holidays
There was one Thanksgiving where I was newly dating someone and resolved to spend the holiday alone, assuming it was way too early in the relationship to join their family festivities. But when they found out about my plans, they insisted I come to their family gathering.
I resisted but eventually agreed, mostly because the thought of sitting in my apartment all day sounded worse than the potential awkwardness of meeting their family. And, oh, it was awkward.
First, the relationship was still in the “situationship” stage—we hadn’t even defined what we were. Then, during the dinner, they went around the table sharing what everyone was grateful for and asked me to start. Me, the virtual stranger. I managed to cobble together something polite and gracious: “I’m grateful to have people to spend the holidays with and thankful for your hospitality.”
It felt like the right thing to say, but then everyone around the table chimed in saying how thankful they were that I was there (cringe!) before adding their own gratitude. It was so sweet… and so painfully embarrassing.
Then there was the time I awkwardly spent New Year’s Eve with another “situationship.” My friend and her husband had invited us to a party downtown. My date and I agreed to meet there at 9:00pm, but when I arrived, he texted to say he was running late because of a family gathering.
I spent the next hour and a half wandering the party like a lost puppy. Everyone else seemed coupled up, laughing, and sharing inside jokes while I awkwardly held my champagne flute, trying not to look too out of place.
Eventually, my friend and her husband arrived, and we drank and danced until just before midnight, when my date finally showed up. He made it just in time for the midnight toast and a kiss, but the awkwardness of the evening left me wondering if I might have been better off staying home.
Choosing Alone Time on My Own Terms
This year, I’ve decided to skip the awkwardness and embrace spending the holidays alone.
This isn’t a “woe is me” moment, but rather a moment of clarity and hope. I’m hopeful that 2025 will be a year of adventures—whether with friends, family, or maybe even a new significant other. I’m hopeful that I’ll meet new people, strengthen old relationships, and live a life that feels full and intentional.
And yes, I’m hopeful that in 2025 I can spend it with the love of my life. But even if I’m not, I’ll be okay. This time alone is teaching me to be my own greatest companion and reminding me that love—whether from others or for myself—always finds its way when it’s meant to.
I’m also hopeful for success in my business. I want 2025 to be a year where I can confidently say I’ve made an impact—helping others through my work, setting and achieving big goals, and watching my vision come to life. This season of solitude has allowed me to focus on my purpose, plan for the future, and build the foundations of something I’m truly proud of.
Most of all, I’m hopeful that I’ll look back on this season of solitude and feel proud of how I handled it—not letting the loneliness define or overwhelm me, but instead using it as a stepping stone toward the life I’m creating.
How to Enjoy Your Holidays Alone
If you’re spending the holidays alone, I see you. I feel you. And I promise, it doesn’t have to feel like a punishment.
Here are a few ideas I’ve found helpful (and plan to try myself):
- Volunteer or Give Back
Helping others can bring a sense of connection and purpose. Whether it’s serving meals at a shelter, donating to a local charity, or simply reaching out to someone who might need support, giving is always a great way to fill your cup. - Create New Traditions
Shake up your routine and make the holiday yours. Maybe it’s a solo movie marathon, a cozy day of reading, or treating yourself to something special. - Acknowledge Your Feelings
It’s okay to feel lonely or sad. Sit with those feelings, honor them, and remind yourself that they’re temporary. - Practice Gratitude
Take a few moments to reflect on what’s good in your life, even if it’s just the small things, like a warm blanket or a good cup of coffee. - Connect in Small Ways
Call an old friend, send holiday cards, or join an online community to remind yourself that you’re not truly alone. - Do Absolutely Nothing
Seriously, don’t let FOMO (fear of missing out) trick you into thinking you have to do something special. Sometimes a quiet day to yourself is the best gift. - Plan for the Year Ahead
Use this time to dream big. What do you want 2025 to look like? Write down your goals, map out a plan, and let the excitement for what’s ahead motivate you.
I’m planning to try all of these—though not all at once, because ADHD. 😉
A Season of Growth
This holiday season may look different for me, but I’m choosing to see it as an opportunity for growth. Whether you’re spending your holidays solo or surrounded by loved ones, I hope you find moments of peace, joy, and connection in your own way.
And remember, loneliness doesn’t define you—it’s just a moment in time. Cheers to embracing it, growing through it, and looking forward to brighter days ahead. 🥂
